You're doing this wrong.

So...

themenguide:

What would you like to know?

Is deep throating a must?

themenguide:

Question submitted by megantea:

Infants are biologically wired to whine to get their mother’s attention. They do this by saying things like “mommy mommy watch me dive watch me dive did you see me dive mommy mommy.” They need some way to quantify their self-worth, and their mother’s attention and care gives them a sense of purpose.

As we grow older we enter the schooling system, where tests and quizzes replace our mother’s approval/disapproval. We are able to quantify our intelligence and level of achievement by our grades. If we score highly, we feel good. If we score poorly, not so good.

Later in life, we don’t really have any tools to measure our value, except  how much our significant other says/acts like she/he loves us.

If you come home every day from work to your girlfriend who has put a piece of stale bread and some dirty water on the table for you, you can safely say your relationship has failed (In order for this analogy to work you must live in a post-agrarian industrialized country like Canada, England, Australia, and some parts of the US).

If, however, you come home to a lavish eight course meal served by slaves whilst your significant other gives you an under-the-table blowfest, you can safely say your relationship is in good standing (in order for this analogy to work, you cannot be a King, or have concubines, or be running a Ponzi scheme).

That said, most of us fall somewhere in the middle, and it’s the littlest things that make us believe that our relationship is more eight-course meal than dirty water.

Those things include, but are not limited to:

• deep throating
• massages
• reverse cowgirl anal
• boy’s night
• presents
• laundry
• smiling
• not telling my friends i have a tiny dick you dirty whore i told you i’m self conscious about it.

You get the point.

The little things are what make us happy. We like to feel that you want us enough to put our entire weiner-schnitzel down your throat.

It’s how we know and feel like we’re wanted. And Needed. Beause deep down, we’re all that skinny little kid jumping into the shallow end with nobody watching us.

—Moe

My Saturday night: Reading "A Content Analysis of Fifty-Seven Children's Books With Death Themes."

Who could ask for a better night?

∞ Study Paints iPhone users as Porn-watching Egomaniacs

"I think it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren's eyes if they continue that way."

-Sean Penn

“Net Neutrality! It’s a big issue! Super-important! I’m not sure why but everyone else is shouty about it so I’m being shouty too!

—

Net Neutrality - 5 Steps to Save the Internet (and Avoid a $400 Comcast Bill) - Urlesque (written by Nick) (via nickdouglas)

— Net neutrality, or a lack thereof, can change the way you and your children will use the internet in the future. This article clearly demonstrates, if a little biased, the consequences of regulation (read: censorship) on the internet.

#$^@$^&*%^*!!>>111

piscesinpurple:

*snip*

Syntax Error.

So...

themenguide:

What would you like to know?

Now accepting more existential questions of relative importance.